Jay Manuel, MD? I don't think so.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't take Jay's (or Tyra's) word that it's perfectly fine for someone with asthma to dive.

According to PADI:
For safety, all students complete a brief scuba medical questionnaire that asks about medical conditions that could be a problem while diving. If any of these [which include asthma] apply to you, as a safety precaution your physician must assess the condition as it relates to diving and sign a medical form that confirms that you’re fit to dive.

I'm so mad. I'd stop watching, but I love the crazy.

I blame the one hour time zone jet lag.

Last night, I'm in the cab on my way home. I tell him Clark and Division. (I get more specific as I get closer.) Driver asks if I want 90-94 or LSD. I get all huffy and say 90-94. Seriously, LSD? I had mentioned it was good to be home. I'm not some easily confused tourist. I was indignant! Then he asks if I want Division or Ohio. I'm thinking Holy Crap, what's with this guy? I'm reporting him to 311. So I say Division. Or North if that's better. He asks if North isn't too far. I say no, it's fine. I'm actually between Division and North. But Division is fine. It's certainly better than Ohio.

I sat there, fuming, indignant, huffy.

And then I remembered I was at Midway and not O'Hare.

SYTYCD! Spoiler Alert!

Unlike the presidential elections of '00 and '04, my absentee ballot actually counted on So You Think You Can Dance. Yay Jeanine!

Surly Curly, Network President

In honor of (in spite of, because of) SciFi Channel's decision to rename themselves SyFy (there aren't words, I tell you), I've decided to launch my own science fiction network. Coming to a cable system near you on or around May 25, 2011. More to come about my hate of wrestling (WRESTLING!) on a science fiction channel and why you shouldn't turn your back on your core audience. But check it out: asimovtv.blogspot.com

Why Asimov? He's not my favorite science fiction or fantasy writer, but he was one of my first. And, I'm guessing the same could be said for a lot of other people. One automatically thinks science fiction when they hear his name. It's an association hard-wired into the brains of millions. (Plus, it sounds cool.)

Surly Razr

When I text, I let my phone predict what I’m typing and at the end, I go back and proofread/edit. Today, I intended to text “Have fun!” to my sister. But my phone’s first go at it was “Hate fun?” What a glass half-empty view of the world my little Razr has.

Why so sad, Motorola Razr?

Sheri needs to stop playing with Google.

Type "[your name] needs" into Google.

Sheri needs to find a WWII German nurse's uniform pattern.
(Really, I don't. And I'm frightened that someone does.)

Sheri needs a ride for 1 to San Ramon.
(It's 61 and sunny there.)

Sheri needs help.
(Kind of goes without saying, doesn't it?)

Sheri needs to go.
(To San Ramon? Or to the bathroom?)

Sheri needs a serious attitude adjustment.
(Oh yeah? Says who?)

Sheri needs help with Broodlord quest chain.
(Obviously.)

Sheri needs to get some sleep.
(Who doesn't?)

Sheri needs more data.
(Again, I say, who doesn't?)

Sheri needs a road trip.
(Yes, to San Ramon. We already went over this.)

Sheri needs a deformed finger.
(To get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar? Like the meganosed fly who drinks the nectar out of the long deep floral tubes of its botanical counterpart. Darwin would be thrilled.)

Sheri needs to check with prison officials.
(Always a good idea.)

Sheri needs help identifying the two seated adults in this photograph.
(Uh, check the back of the picture.)

Sheri needs random sex and lots of it.
(Random partners? Random positions? Perhaps it's just a lot of sex with a person named Random, though I know of only one and she's fictional, and teenage, and a she, so not my type.)

Sheri needs direction to proceed with Phase 2.
(Awaiting instructions like a good little agent.)

Sheri needs to be left alone.
(Please exit in an orderly fashion.)

Do Wii need an alibi?

Several months ago, Jessie used my Wii Fit. She hasn't been on it since and while I thought nothing of it, Inspector Wii found it very suspicious. I started him up and he gave me the above message. I'm not sure what the inspector was implying, but it wasn't good. I watch TV. I know.

(Is there any more accusatory piece of punctuation than an ellipsis?)

I would have told him I had done nothing with Jessie; she just hadn't been over in a while. It's cold out. But he has no ears and I have no Wii Speak, so it wouldn't have made a difference. And anyway, it's just a video game. An overly concerned, somewhat invasive, connected to the internet and police forces everywhere video game.

So now I find myself, every so often, posing as Jessie while I do a few hula hoops.